When your husband hates to shop (but still loves you)

The first lottery drawing in Washington State was held on November 15, 1982.  On that day, my grandmother purchased a ticket.  Since then, she has faithfully purchased a ticket every single week, always playing the exact same numbers. Even after losing for 42 years, she is still excited about the possibility that this could be her week.  I, on the other hand, have never purchased a lottery ticket. I understand the thrill, but I‘m not compelled to play.  Why?  Because I already won. 22 years ago, I drove to Seattle with some friends to go swing dancing.  That night, I met a wonderful man and two years later we married.  I know it sounds cheesy, but there’s no amount of lotto winnings that could compare. (My husband usually proofs my blogs before they’re published, so I’m already imagining him at this point rolling his eyes at this mushy sentiment.)  My husband loves me and our children more than anything and he shows it every day. When I proposed starting an online stocking stuffer shop, he was amazingly supportive. He was curious and encouraging. I admit, he had lots of challenging questions about the viability of running a business based solely around a single holiday.  He asked if people would buy gifts for themselves, not knowing exactly what they were getting.  But nothing about this line of inquiry was doubtful. It was merely a way to challenge me to be better and to increase my chances of success. That’s the way he is.  “I think you should do it. Knowing you, it will be a success. Even if your first idea doesn’t work out, I know you will find a way to pivot and come up with something that will.”  As I have busily worked to launch this new effort, it’s my husband who has been shouldering the bulk of the parenting in our house. Almost daily, he asks me, ”How’s it going with Primrose and May?” Just a couple days ago he sent me a text that read, “If you need help this week, I think I’m going to have some extra time. I can help with PM stuff. Let me know what I can do.”  See what I mean about winning the lottery with him? My husband created a little corporation to operate this new shop and figured out how to get a business license and re-seller’s permit. Even though parts of our house look like a tornado hit it, he’s patiently tolerated my takeover.  Our Rec Room is now Primrose and May headquarters and filled with a mountain of Christmas surprises. I wonder if Santa’s workshop is this chaotic.

While incredibly accommodating, there is one area where my husband is completely unhelpful in my new business: procurement. He can’t stand shopping.  He doesn’t know where to go or what to buy – virtually ever. In my husband’s love language is not physical gift giving but acts of service. He expresses his love in terms of service to me, our children, and to all those around him. I can count on one hand the number of times he’s given me a traditional gift at my birthday or the holidays. After 22+ years together, he doesn’t even attempt going into traditional gift stores anymore. Does that bother me? Not at all. A physical gift wrapped with a bow isn’t the way he shows his love. He gives me support for whatever is important to me, he repairs the kitchen faucet when the dripping begins to drive me bonkers.  He takes the kids to the pool so I can have free time to craft.  For my birthday he installed a heated towel bar in the bathroom because he knows how much I hate having a damp towel.  Last week he made a special trip to the hardware store just because the rolling cart used for packaging shop materials had lost a couple nuts and bolts. None of those gifts fit in my Christmas stocking, but each one is a gift of his love to me.  Nevertheless, my husband knows that people expect gifts and are hurt if they don’t get them. While Primrose and May sells stocking stuffers for women, It’s just as much a shopping service for husbands as it is for women! He would have 100% used Primrose and May for help fulfilling his gifting obligations if it had existed 22 years ago. With Primrose and May, your significant other can now also rely on me to personally curate sure-fire gifts for you, without having the slightest idea of how to select an appropriate gift.

 But back to the magic! My teenager has long since known the secret of Santa. My sweet 10-year-old still believes. She’s had her doubts recently, but she has her evidence too even when we were in Australia for Christmas, we came home to stockings that had been stuffed! Must have been Santa, because how could it have been mom if we were all on a plane flying home together?! Her continued belief means I’ve got to make darn sure that my own stocking is filled (along with the rest of the family). For those of you in the trenches with little ones who need to make the magic happen but are also in the thick of parenting, I’ve got you covered! If you can’t be with family on Christmas and want a special package to arrive on their doorstep, I’ve got you covered. If you are overwhelmed and need just one less thing to do, I’ve got your back on that as well. If you are a husband, dad etc who has no clue what to get, you guessed it, I’ve got you covered.  In the hectic of the holiday season, making Christmas magic shouldn’t feel like a burden and moms take a moment to give yourself a break and some magic! Let Primrose and May make sure that Santa doesn’t forget you!